Looking back in history, women were blamed when there were difficulties for a couple to get pregnant. In many parts of the world this is still the case. For many people, these are the stories they hear and the concept of a loving supportive partner seems to be lost in many aspects when it comes to infertility. The blame may be placed on either one of the partners making the process of treatment even more difficult both emotionally and physically.
I like to believe that as a community we have come a long way since the olden days. We have become more compassionate, more loving, more supportive and I see this more and more every day. Couples are coming in for treatment as a team and helping each other manage the ups and downs of infertility. Professionals in the field have also come a long way to make sure there is no blame targeted towards patients. The love and devotion partners have towards each other is beautiful to watch. In a world filled with negativity and sad news being shared constantly, it is important to point out the love and connections that are made stronger by a difficult situation. When I reached out to @ttc695, I did not know what their journey would be like.
Their journey started in 2012 when she went to the GP regarding her irregular periods. After an ultrasound it was confirmed that she has PCOS. As she broke down in tears in front of her GP she was told not to worry because she was very young. Fast forward to 2017, they started trying for a baby. After a year of not falling pregnant, they went to the doctor and tried a clomid cycle. The first round was unsuccessful so they tried 2 more rounds. They then moved onto letrozole for another 3 cycles which again did not work. They were both devastated and throughout the medicated cycles were still told not to worry as they were both still young. She was 28 and her partner was 31. Her partner wanted to make sure he was strong for her but he broke down crying. They knew it was time for them to take a break and so they traveled for a while and focused on their mental well-being. Once they returned, they had a discussion about moving forward with an IUI or going straight for IVF whilst she was still young. He had his sperm checked for any abnormalities and she had her tubes checked to make sure they were open and not damaged. Both their tests confirmed that things were ok. They decided to move forward with an IVF cycle.
They were accepted for 1 round of NHS cycle which was supposed to start early this year but corona-virus hit. They felt as if the universe was against them but her partner reassured her and suggested putting things on hold for things to settle down rather than having to cancel mid-cycle. For the past few months, they have been focusing on their health and well being to prepare them for IVF. They have decided not to tell their friends and family about their upcoming cycle. They made this decision together based on the fact that the less people who know about it, the less pressure they would feel. They don't want their loved ones to tread on eggshells around them or be emotional if their first cycle doesn't work. For them this is their precious secret that they are dealing with together. They are both very lucky as they are able to open up to each other and let out their emotions when they need to. It hasn't been easy. When the medicated cycles were not working, she had a heartbreaking conversation with her partner saying if he wanted out then this was his chance to find someone who could give him a baby. She would be broken but would understand. Her amazing partner cuddled her and said that was never going to happen. He always reassures her that he is not going anywhere. They have been through a lot but have handled it amicably with the strong bond they have. Their next step is to start IVF. They are currently waiting for her next cycle to start so they can proceed with the medications and IVF. They are optimistic about their upcoming treatment and continue to maintain a strong, supportive relationship.
Their journey taught me about true love and companionship. They are the embodiment of a supportive relationship. Even through rough times, they stuck together which is so important when undergoing infertility treatment. The love and support that a partner can provide is what makes the journey less strenuous. I have mentioned the importance of a supportive community and the benefits of it but the truth is that a supportive partner can help just as much if not more. I have seen relationships crumble due to infertility but hearing stories such as this one are proof that a strong relationship can persevere.
