When I see patients undergoing infertility treatment cycles, I see first hand the emotional toll this takes on them. Reaching out to patients from around the world on social media, this was confirmed even more. When Monique (@_infertilityandme) shared her story with me, she reiterated the importance of having a support system in place. She has started her own website where she provides a loving environment for people experiencing infertility. All of the information is linked on her instagram page.
Monique and her husband sought help after being married for 2 years without any success at natural conception. Their first treatment, which was an IUI cycle, was completed in 2012 which was unfortunately unsuccessful. It would be another 4 years before they decided to resort back to a fertility specialist. Monique had never questioned her ability to have kids prior as she had regular menstrual cycles and everything seemed normal. After 5.5 years of marriage and no pregnancies, she realized that there was something not quite right. This was a complete shock and an emotional burden. In the spring of 2016, she was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. This condition refers to an under-active thyroid gland which is when the thyroid gland does not produce enough hormones. She was also diagnosed with uterine polyps that were removed when she underwent a hysteroscopy. Once her conditions were diagnosed, appropriate measures were taken to treat them. They then resorted to a natural cycle IVF which is when very little to no hormonal injections are used in an IVF cycle. A trigger shot is administered to ensure the release of eggs from the ovary. One to two eggs produced during a natural cycle are collected and undergo fertilization. In their case, the cycle was cancelled as her egg did not fertilize. They decided to proceed with another cycle. This time around, everything went smoothly and the procedure was a success. She gave birth in January of 2017.
She shared a few points with me for couples undergoing treatment. It is not easy for other people to fully understand what the process is like. There is feelings of frustration, tears, loneliness, guilt and so many other emotions. Each person's journey is also different. Therefore, it might be difficult to find the support you need. Especially in cultures where infertility is taboo, there can be feelings of shame. Day to day activities might feel like a burden. The important thing to remember is that these emotions are completely normal. Infertility is a topic associated with lots of emotion. There is no shame in reaching out to other people to seek a bit of comfort. Everyone who has undergone infertility treatment understands just how difficult the process is so reach out to the community to find support. Don't feel disheartened when hearing other people's stories. Whether their treatment was a success or not is not important, the importance is having that emotional support and being there for each other. I say this because when undergoing infertility treatment, it is easy to start comparing your path with other people, which can be even more emotionally distressing. Each individual journey is different and comes with its own challenges. Any one of us could experience infertility to some degree but by sharing each other's stories and removing the taboo associated with infertility, it might make things just a bit easier. Monique mentioned how their journey brought her and her husband closer. They were able to connect on a much deeper level and worked through the process together without any resentment. The process becomes much easier and peaceful when the emotional aspect is dealt with. Couples can be a great source of support for each other. There is no one who understands the process better than the person who is undergoing it with you. Its ok to rely on each other as long as there is no blame placed on the other person. It is definitely easier to place blame on everyone else. The truth of the matter is though that there are so many different aspects associated with infertility, some of which are still unknown to the scientific community, and so things might not be successful with no one to blame. This of course may not be easy for some people to accept. You should try to trust in the process, feel free to ask questions to clarify things and try to reduce as much of the emotional burden as possible. Studies have shown that reduced stress and increased relaxation can help with better outcomes. Now I'll use myself as an example, when I'm told to reduce stress for a better outcome that causes even more stress. So forget about the studies and just focus on making the process as easy as possible for yourself by finding what works best for you. No added pressure and no judgement.
Please feel free to message me directly for comments, suggestions and tips for an easier experience.
