I have had the privilege to hear what people have experienced through their diagnosis and treatments first hand. Every story has been inspiring in its own way. Understanding how people have dealt with the uncertainty and stress of their journey has been a humbling experience. Many people have used their own journey as a way to inspire, advocate and educate others going through treatment. Infertility is a difficult diagnosis for anyone and having the resources out there, which are from people in similar situations, is definitely appreciated. From all of the different stories and working in the field, I learnt a lot about what people go through.
One thing I had always thought about was whether parents share their journey with their child. Infertility, specially IVF is not an easy concept to explain. The emotional aspect is even harder to get across. It is a sensitive subject. It is therefore, understandable when parents choose not to tell their child or wait until that child is older to explain their journey.
However, I came across a very interesting children's book when I was researching this topic. I reached out to the author and she was kind enough to share her story with me.
Tess (@tesskossow) and Dan struggled with infertility themselves. Not only did they have to deal with the stress of not becoming pregnant, they also had to deal with the outside "noise" of why they never talked about having a baby. When they found out that they needed medical assistance, they were once again faced with people questioning whether they really needed IVF. They felt abnormal. Along with all of this, Tess also had to deal with the challenges of having to balance her job and her treatment. She had to attend early appointments before going to work or take sick days for her procedures. They felt lonely from the outside world but clung to each other and persevered through their path to a baby which would change their views and understanding of the meaning of life forever.
From their treatment cycle, they had a genetically normal embryo which resulted in a positive pregnancy and a healthy baby boy. Tess knew at this point that her career priorities had changed and besides being a mom, she was moved towards entrepreneurship. She had to think of what the world needed that was unique to her and she could be passionate about. This is when she created I'm Very Ferris, a child's story about IVF.
She had the tools to create a story line from a child's perspective at a picture book level to talk about the topic of IVF which can be a struggle to explain to a child. Her mentality is that this topic is real life and it doesn't have to be stressful to explain if taken one step at a time page by page in a simplified level for children to understand.
She has had positive responses but realizes that these books may not be welcomed by everyone. However, for many people, it brings tears to their eyes because the journey of infertility is emotional even after it is all over. Many don't want to forget their journey because it gave them the chance to become a parent.
I'm Very Ferris (IVF) allows a family to tell their story about how their baby came into the world by reading rhyming words and seeing colorful pictures about a healthy boy named Ferris who's parents went through IVF to have him. She took this a step further in April of 2020 by publishing her second book "I'm Very Ferris Takes a Bubble Bath". Ofcourse, with the pandemic it has been a difficult time for infertility and pregnancy in general so she wanted to bring some joy, comfort, and lightheartedness with the timing of her second book. Families and children of all backgrounds are able to come together and follow baby Ferris on a new adventure all the while giving respect to IVF through words and pictures.
These are her thoughts on why she started these books:
"This is what I do and giving people a moment of understanding, gratitude, and feeling inclusive in a topic that generally cannot be found in a children’s book is why I write and advocate. I understand that by giving people a voice and a chance to tell their story is fulfilling and honorable in the highest of ways. Infertility is not saying “no” to having a baby. It’s about finding a new way to say, “yes” to becoming a parent. Every time Ferris picks up one of “Mama’s book” for me to read, and I see him pointing at the characters, saying “baby napping” or “baby bath,” I can only image what moments my books bring to other families, all around the globe. Coming together to tell a special story about one way to form a life, and including little minds in the process of telling it, well for me, that’s about as good as it gets."
Thank you Tess for giving IVF parents a chance to share their journey with their little ones. We are all excited to see and hear what little Ferris will be up to next.
If you have any questions please get in contact with myself or Tess. Thank you for reading.
