The stories of individuals wanting to start a family on their own is less commonly shared when compared to couples. Assisted reproductive technologies (ART) gives the opportunity for single individuals, or LGBTQ members to start a family whether they suffer from infertility or not. Because the "norm" is considered to be a heterosexual couple struggling with infertility, the stories of these other individuals are usually missed and not put on the for fronts. When I reached out to Alexandra Subramaniam (@myjourneythroughivf2019), I realized that she was going through IVF treatment in the hopes of becoming a solo mum. It was important for me to share her story in order to reduce one of the many stereotypes associated with ART.
Alexandra began her journey in 2017 when she first began looking into IVF treatment. She only went through with the initial consultation because she did not feel comfortable with the clinic. In 2018, she fell pregnant naturally but unfortunately lost the baby at 19 weeks. Even though she was devastated she did not give up and started a round of IVF treatment in 2019. She has completed 1 cycle which resulted in a fresh transfer on day 5 and another day 5 embryo frozen. Her main advice for other people going through treatment was to try and avoid stress, eat healthy and keep on with their daily lives. Don't let the treatment take over. Another important piece of advice is to not blame yourself if things don't go "as planned" because it can have a detrimental effect on your mental health. It is easier said than done so if it is too much to handle, seek help from an expert. Now a days, there is so much going on in our lives that it can get overwhelming very quickly. Speaking with someone can make it a bit easier to deal with.
Just as advances have been made in every aspect of our lives, I believe more advances need to be made on how we deal with stereotypes. Every individual is entitled to choose how they want to live and everyone has the right to parenthood so it is our duty, as professionals in the field, to make sure that everyone receives the same treatment. We should work hard to try and eradicate the stereotypes associated with fertility treatment. Whether it is stereotypes against the LGBTQ community, against single parents, associated with blaming an individual. These are all unnecessary, meaningless ideas that only add to the difficulty of the process. It is important to ensure that everyone receives the resources they may need to go through treatment. In many cases, clinics have initiatives in place for mental health well-being. Take advantage of these resources and ask for help if you are struggling. There is no shame in reaching out. We have all at some point in our lives had to deal with emotional situations and having a support system makes it easier to handle. We need to be that support system for each other and ensure everyone is receiving the treatment they deserve.
Going through treatment is not easy for anyone whether it be a single parent, a heterosexual couple or an LGBTQ member. Everyone has to deal with going through treatment and the corresponding emotional aspects. Most clinics in first world countries have been able to reduce stereotypes to a minimum but there are still countries where these issues are very prominent. It is not up to anyone to judge another person for their personal choices. There has to be freedom of choice for everyone as long as there is no risk of harm. I know that there is a long way for every country to respect the freedom of individuals to make their own choices but the more stories we share and the more we stand up as a group, the easier it will be to implement change. Please feel free to get in touch with me with comments, or if you just want to chat.
