I am dedicating this post to embryo donation. Now a days the concept of adoption has become more of a norm in society and there is lots of knowledge around the topic. Sadly, I can't say the same is true when it comes to embryo donation/adoption. Basically, embryo donation occurs when a couple has embryos frozen in a facility and they decide to donate the embryos to another couple. There could be many reasons as to why they no longer wish to keep the embryos for themselves. In most cases, the couple has already conceived the amount of children they wanted and does not need the remaining embryos for their own use. They may decide to donate their embryos to another couple who is struggling to get pregnant in an attempt to help increase their chances of pregnancy. On the other hand, the couple seeking embryo adoption has most likely tried a variety of different treatments that were not successful and has come to the conclusion of using donated embryos. The decision is a hard one for everyone involved. They have to be sure with their decisions which should be consulted with specialists and in some cases psychologists. In my opinion it is commendable that couples donate their embryos just to help another couple feel the joy of parenthood. It is not an easy decision at all and should not be taken lightly. It is important for people to realize that the parents of the embryo have the right to decide what happens to that embryo but they need to reach a conclusion as to whether they want to dispose, donate to another couple or donate their embryos for research. It is not acceptable for them to abandon their embryos ( a topic I will focus on in a future post). The decision can be made with the help of their specialist but it is an irreversible decision that requires a lot of thought. Embryo donation/adoption may not be the right choice for everyone and so the couple should not feel pressured into making this decision. Take your time, do your research and choose the best route of action for you as a couple.
When I started my search for a couple that were planning to use embryo adoption, I came across @makingbabyfi on instagram and was honored when she shared their story with me. Briana is a 20-something English Teacher who is married to a 20-something Paramedic with a list of combined infertility issues. After a year of trying naturally, they were referred to a fertility specialist for treatment. They started their treatment with a round of Letrozole and timed intercourse, and were told that they only had a 5% chance of conceiving without intervention. This was followed by two rounds of medicated IUI cycles which were unsuccessful. At this point, they took a 6 month break to recover during which they sought a second opinion. Their new specialist redid some tests which changed the course of their treatments. She was previously diagnosed with PCOS. However, the new test results (AMH and antral follicle count) pointed to diminished ovarian reserve rather than PCOS. From this point, IUI did not seem like the right course of action for them. They began discussing other options including IVF but with their diagnosis and financial burden, it seemed like a risky option. At this point, they began searching for embryo adoption which would increase their chances of pregnancy. This was not an easy decision because their child would not be genetically their own. It would mean that they would be pregnant and give birth to their adopted child. A concept that is still difficult for some people to grasp and understand. They continued in their search and were still not sure of what they wanted to do. They finally decided to put in an application which led to a match within 2 weeks. A donor family were willing to donate their 2 remaining embryos to Briana and her husband. After much deliberation, this felt like the right choice for them and so they accepted the match. They are currently undergoing a mock cycle to check her receptivity and if everything goes well, they will have their transfer very soon. Briana's positive attitude was clear in the conversations I had with her. She mentioned how their journey so far has taught her the amount of strength and resilience they both had but did not realize. She made a comment that stood out to me and I think all couples dealing with infertility should keep reminding themselves. She said: "infertility will put any weaknesses you have within yourself and with your partner under a microscope. If you're able to overcome that, you can overcome anything." She also mentioned that the infertility journey is not what you expect it to be. There are ups and downs that you never could have imagined, so prioritize what is important to you and not what is important to everyone else. Your journey is unique.
I know the decision of embryo donation and adoption is a difficult one but in many cases, it is the best option for couples. I am also aware that there are some ethical points that can be raised which are both for and against embryo donation. Ultimately, this is a choice that is made by the couple and should be respected.
If you have any comments or concerns, please feel free to contact me directly.
